dennis martin papp

Resolution or Resolve?

I recently started following a blog on writing by Jeff Goins.

While the post focuses on writing, the general principle is a great concept as we enter a new year.

Why You Shouldn’t Bother with Writing Resolutions this New Year

Don’t waste your time with writing resolutions this New Year. Instead, focus on something else: resolve.

While the words are similar, the difference in meaning is significant. A resolution is something you make. Resolve is something you have.

The latter is far more important than the former. Without resolve, you have no hope of accomplishing your resolutions.

So in other words, you need to commit. To choose into an intentional process that will make you better. Not a set of audacious goals you’ll never meet.

Why are goals pointless? Because they aren’t sustainable. They tell you where you want to go, not how you’re going to get there. What you need are new habits — a new way of living that will bring different results.

It’s time to commit to being the type of writer you’ve always dreamed of being. And that begins with creating some new disciplines. Here are three important ones worth mastering:

1. Set aside a time to write. Be it early morning, during lunch, or late at night, it’s important to have a special time to spend with the craft. Although I at first hated it, I’ve now grown quite fond of my 5am writing times. There’s something peaceful about the solitude of working while the rest of the world is asleep.
   
   
2. Show up. When I say I’m going to write, I often procrastinate and run out of time. I give excuses and justifications and end up creating nothing. I hate this. So I have refused to allow myself an “out” any longer. I must write every day, no matter what. Even if for only 15 minutes. The crazy thing is this is where some of my best writing comes from — concentrated blocks of forced writing.
   
   
3. Give yourself grace. This goes hand-in-hand with the last one. A natural byproduct of discipline is dread. When you start showing up to do the work, you may grow fearful of the desk. I know I have struggled with this. At times like these, remember to be playful, to have fun. Remind yourself of why you go through the painful parts — that there is joy waiting for you at the finish line.

I could tell you more than these three, like how to set a daily word count or creating a creative environment for writing, but the truth is these three are enough. Most days, if we can remember to set aside time to write, actually show up to do it, and give ourselves tons of grace, then we are doing just fine.

Crossed the Finish Line with a Burst!

I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to share this with you.

Earlier this week I sent out an email to our SouthField family, letting everyone know that we were just a little short in our giving for 2011.

It wasn't a lot, but it felt a little like running a marathon and stopping just before the finish line. I mean, you still ran 26 miles...that's great! But to stop and be so close would be a let down.

I really did not know how the church would respond. It would require the effort of putting a check in the mail or dropping it off at an agreed upon location. It would require reading the email, and honestly, I never know how many people actually open the email and read it.

So the cool news...

Twenty-seven people/families responded, and they responded big.

Throughout the week they gave over $10,000, pushing us well past the finish line!

I don't know what to say...

I am speechless. I am stunned. I am so humbled. I'm overwhelmed.

I never take for granted the huge trust people place in us by throwing the full weight of their support being this 130-year-old church plant named SouthField. 

If you catch me staring off in the distance over the next few weeks smiling, you'll know why.

I suspect God is smiling too!

SouthField, you're amazing!

New Year's Day @ SouthField (WareHouse part 2)

2011 Survey. Glad it's over or hate to see it go?

There is one full day left in 2011.

As the year comes to an end, I'm curious--

Are you glad it's over or do you hate to see it go?

I know every moment is a gift from God, etc. That's a given. I've read Romans 8:28, I get it really.

I'm just asking my friends...great year or lousy year?

For me, being rather transparent without a post so long you'd never read it, I'm looking forward to 2012.

I know January 1st is just another day.

There is no magic in turning a calendar page.

On so many levels, this year has been tough. In fact, I'd put it in the "Don't want to re-live that one" category.

I'm glad it's over.

Even so, there were some great moments, and even in the tough stuff, I learned some lessons I could never have learned any other way. I see life differently because of the hard stuff. I'm better for it, not bitter.

So, post a comment. Where are you? You can get detailed if you want. Get reflective, that's cool. We'll listen.

SouthField Podcast | This Christmas...I Want More (12.18.11)

   You can delete the sponsor add that appears over the sermon
   player by clicking the X in the upper right corner.

Can't Fight This Feeling @ 26 and Counting!

Every romance needs a great song.

For Kim and Dennis it was, "Can't Fight this Feeling" by REO Speedwagon. My favorite three bands were REO, Styx and Supertramp, like 15 million other American kids in the late 70's/early 80's. So I not only had my favorite band, but the words were written for us. I swear someone must have been following us!

Now for my Cedarville friends, I'm busted. I actually listened to songs that were not on the playlist. I was always off campus. Didn't violate the sacred ground. Sorry to let you down! By the way, I have a long list of fellow violators, so if you think you're gonna get my BA revoked, think twice!

Brian got me the REO Ballads CD for Christmas, so I went straight to our song. It prompted me to look up some details...

The album was released in November 2004, just as we were getting to be friends
("What started out as friendship has grown stronger...")

The song hit #1 in March 1985, the first full month that we were dating. (Facebook official 02/14/85).

Seems like you could find it anywhere on the radio that summer (yes, I said radio...no-ipod).

Music videos were happening then, but were pretty lame, and this song is a great example of that fact! They get a little too literal with images...like a guy running around the inside of a hat for "Runnin' around in circles in my mind." The ending gets sad...gotta watch it.

Embedding this video is restricted. Gotta go to this YouTube link to watch it. 

 

Oh, it gets worse. I was browsing other videos and found this one from their 2010 concert.

Yikes! Not pretty! It's the geriatric version. True love, 26 years later!

 

And then there's my favorite version! You'll have to endure a quick commercial.

I'm glad we stopped fighting!

Great Horned Owl

This guy chose to hang out in our tree all afternoon, for at least three hours.

It's a gloomy day and I did not want to open the door and scare him away, so the images are not very vivid.

Looked at my favorite Illinois bird book. I'm leaning toward it being a Great Horned Owl, though it could be an Eastern Screech-Owl. If you're an owl expert, I'd love your input.

Click on the image for a full-sized version.

Great Horned Owls lay their eggs in January and February. I'd love it if they'd choose my tree!

Our Wedding/Marriage Prayer

Some of you have asked for the text of the prayer from our wedding.

This is a version I found online. We revised it a touch, but here it is.

I believe it was composed by Dr. Lewis Evans.

O God of love, you have established marriage for the welfare and happiness of mankind. Yours was the plan, and only with you can we work it out with joy. You have said, “It is not good for a man to live alone. . . . I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now our joys are doubled, since the happiness of one is the happiness of the other; our burdens are halved, since, when we share them, we divide the load.

Bless this husband. Bless him as provider for the needs of those he loves. Sustain him in all his struggles in the contest of life. May his strength be her protection, his character be her joy and assurance. May he so live that she may find in him the haven for which the heart of a woman truly longs.

Bless this loving wife. Give her a tenderness that makes her great . . . a deep sense of understanding and a great faith in You. Give her that inner beauty of soul that never fades, eternal youth that is found in holding fast to the things that never age. May she so live that he may be pleased always to reverence and adore her.

Teach them that marriage is not living merely for each other; it is two uniting and joining hands to serve Thee. Give them a great spiritual purpose in life. May they seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and the other things shall be added unto them.

May they not expect that perfection of each other that belongs alone to You. May they minimize each other’s weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other’s strengths and beauty, and see each other through a lover’s kind and patient eyes.

Give them enough tears to keep them tender, enough hurts to keep them humane, enough of failure to keep their hands clenched tightly in Yours, and enough success to make them sure they belong to You.

May they never take each other’s love for granted, but always experience that breathless wonder that exclaims: “Out of all this world, you have chosen me!”

When life is done and the sun is setting, may they be found then as now still hand in hand, still thanking God for each other. May they serve You happily, faithfully, together, until at last one shall lay the other into Your loving arms. This we ask through Jesus Christ, Great Lover of Our Souls. Amen.”

Still breathless. Always will be. Promise.

When I woke up on December 28, 1985, I knew my life would never be the same.

I was a twenty-two year old kid, fresh out of college. I had no real prospect of a job. I didn't even own car.

Days before I had quit my job at Silo selling electronic gadgets so I could go head from North Tonawanda to Bloomington for a wedding ceremony.  Then we pack a borrowed Toyota Tercel and headed to St.Petersburg to start a new life and husband and wife.

I'm writing this and realizing just how clueless I was...I had nothing, and no prospect of much more.

At the same time, I was making the best commitment I would ever make. I was making an unbreakable, life-time promise that would pay off beyond my wildest dreams. For all the dumb ideas I had and dead-ends I pursued, this one choice...this decision had to be God-inspired. I wasn't bright enough to realize just how good a choice I was making.

I love Kim. I always will. Promise.

The theme of our wedding was, "Two Joining Hands to Serve Thee." It has been the theme of our marriage. We're true partners. We compliment each other perfectly. How could I have been so young and dumb, yet get it so right? It could only have been God.

She was hot...still is! I love saying that. I can see the gag reflex being activated in my daughter's throat as I write the words! Shell, I'll sing you my favorite Mamma Mia line later...it will be worth seeing the shades of green you turn every time I shout it!

There were two main reasons I asked Kim to marry me. They do not sound very romantic or poetic. They're rather practical, but so important. First, I knew she could and would make me better. I did not need an admirer. There was too much work to be done on this old house! I needed a total make-over. I needed someone who would challenge me. That's a real partner. Too many people search for someone who will worship them, who will see no flaws and heap on praise. Kim is great at praise and encouragement, but if I need to be challenged, she knows what to say and how to say it, and I welcome it. By the way, she tells me that I do the same for her.

Here's the other reason. We share the same values. I need to find another way to say that, because it is not at all conveying just how huge that is! I mean, we are on the same page on everything, and not because one or the other of us is stuffing what we really think or feel. From our faith in God all the way to our love for Feta Cheese, I am not sure that two people exist who share a more compatible value system.

Can I admit something? I'm pretty cynical about marriage these days. We put more thought and research into buying a new TV. We have deeper passion for a sports team or hobby than we do for a spouse. Commitment? Til death do us part means nothing. They are required words with no real meaning. Quaint, but unrealistic. Hoped, but not intended.

Then I remember my own marriage. There is one marriage that I am 100% confident will make it all the way to a funeral. I make no qualifications, we will keep this promise. It will be the saddest day of our lives, but I know it will happen--our marriage will end at a graveside, not in a courtroom or in the arms of another. I know we will keep our promise, not living a life of resigned coexistence or secret longing for a different person. We will make it all the way to the end. Promise.

I know this because, of all the things I admire about my wife, we share the same values. 

If I have one piece of advice for all you little-leaguers out there, it is this...if you do not share common values, you're stacking the deck against your marriage even before you say the words, "I do." Let me be blunt...it's just plain dumb, don't do it! Infatuation will wear off. When reality sets in, you'll see it, but by then, it will be too late.

I cannot think of a single element that has contributed more to the vitality of our union more than this one. I'm not saying you have to be clones, believe me, we are not. We are very different. Truth is, I struggle to think of an area of life, whether it is an issue of taste or belief or practice, parenting or ministry or finances, where Kim and I are not on the same page. In the few areas where our tastes or opinions differ, we have been willing to find common ground. We are partners, real partners.

Marriage is about oneness. That's God's design...one man and one woman becoming one for a lifetime.

Oneness takes work. I promise you, we've worked at it. But oneness is much less likely if you start out on completely different pages thinking that somehow, magically a ring and a ceremony will change everything. It will not.

I still remember the first day I met her. I remember when I started to fall for her. I remember our first date, our first kiss. I remember the look in her eyes and the way she said yes when I asked her to share a lifetime with me.

Kim's dad prayed a prayer at our wedding. I really do need to memorize it, but there is one line I cannot forget. I can hear the sweet tone of his voice when he prayed,

May they never take each other’s love for granted, but always experience that breathless wonder that exclaims: “Out of all this world, you have chosen me!”

Still breathless. Always will be. Promise.

A Baby Changed Everything...Merry Christmas!